Me Time

I made it out yesterday, and I socialized. I’m feeling pretty proud of myself for that one.

I’ve found myself in the possession of a weekend with an empty calendar. Work yesterday barely counted… just a short evening shift, which was spent mostly in the effort of making the new knickers display look nice and chatting with my part time associate about her retail career. She’s an old pro in the retail sector, despite her young age, getting her start in apparel at one of the “one-stop” shops here in town, and we were able to chat easily and swap stories about stores in which we have worked. Sort-of but not-really related, the part timers make me feel old. I was running my first store in 1997, about the time the youngest of the set was starting preschool. I was a training manager for a tuxedo chain when my other keyholder was entering high school. I relate much better to the management staff, even though I was born the year my SM graduated high school. At a certain point, age doesn’t matter as much as experience, and she and I and the ASM have that in spades. The three of us, plus the long-time retail PTSA, have an impressive list of big names in small-store and department store retail. And, I think when you walk in and one of us is working, it shows.

But anyhow, I’ve gotten off track, I think. This wasn’t going to be another post about work.

Free time.

Mr Awesome is out all weekend, at the coast with Velah for her birthday. He scheduled a grandparent visit for the kids, and I have the house to myself. Wash is busy with his family and a work obligation. And I’m free.

Like I said above, I got out yesterday. I visited a friend who was doing a craft show in Vancouver, and it was lovely to chat with her. I got myself lunch at Trader Joes and then went for a Goodwill wander, scoring an awesome argyle wool sweater vest. I came home and wrote for a while and took a bubble bath. I worked and came home and texted til early morning with Wash and slept deeply, covered in blankets and cats.

My coffee is gone now and I’m considering my day, trying to decide between a trip to Powells or a wander through Saturday Market, or both. The family won’t be home until dinnertime. I should write some more… I have the first three chapters of my novel drafted, and my goal for this week is to finish chapters four and five. It’s brightly sunny today, and I think it will feel good to get into the city and go for an adventure…

I’m going to be 100% honest here. It has been a hard, hard road beating back the Bitch this time around. I’ve had days recently that simply getting dressed has been a huge victory. The weather doesn’t help… cold windy days make me ache all over and make my joints stupid and clumsy. My kids are having a hard time with me back at work, even though they love the time they have with their dad. My breakup with the Boyfriend has been hard to process. For all that he wasn’t really there for the last several months, I still miss him terribly. And heading into the holidays without his family at our side feels weird.

But, I’m doing what I can, taking each moment by itself and doing my best. I’m writing again, which feels awesome. But I wouldn’t be if it weren’t for gentle pokes from my friends. If you were one of those who sent me a text or other direct message, asking if I was ok and when would I write again, I want to say thank you. Knowing that someone wanted to hear what I had to say is the whole reason I started this blog. Writing helps me process things. Processing things helps me heal. Life moves on, looking brighter and better and healthier.

Thanks to you all, for listening. And all the loves I have to offer.

More about my Bitch can be found here:
The Bitch is Back
The Boy With the Sad Eyes

And as always, I welcome your thoughts and comments below. ❤

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