So, How’s Wash?

“So, how’s Wash?”

My lovely friend pastelninja was visiting the other day. It’s always so awesome to see her. She has a daughter that is best friends with my Lil D, and the girls play while we visit. She’s a writer, too (you can read her blog here, if you want) and she’s smart and funny and someone I’ve known since high school

But, as I’ve said in previous posts, it’s July, and I’m crazy-busy, and it’s been a while since I’ve caught up with some people, and I know it’s been forever since I’ve written on some topics, and I realized with that one question that people may be wondering what’s going on in my crazy life.

Maybe you all aren’t. Maybe I’m just talking to the wind. But I like to think you, my readers, are following me because you think I have something interesting to say, or maybe you like hearing about someone who is making poly work and work well. So we will go with that.

So, how is Wash?

Wash is flipping fantastic. Wash laments the fact that we live an hour apart (and that’s if traffic is good), and that we only see each other once or twice a month. I lament that as well. But, we text all the time, and he calls me sometimes when he gets off work, and we get to make up for lost time when we do actually get together. When we see each other in person, we get in all the snuggles. I almost feel like I have to save it up, because I know it will be weeks before he will be physically present again. I want to bottle the rough feel of his skin and the sound of his voice echoing in his chest when we cuddle after sex. I want to record the pillow talk so I can play it back, later, when I miss him, when it’s been too long since we’ve seen each other.

I’m not normally this needy or touchy of a person, but the long-distance thing kind of brings it out in me. And it suits him fine… he is that touchy and it doesn’t get fulfilled in his other relationships.

His girlfriend that he lives with, his primary partner, is a lesbian. They don’t have an intimate life. He’s ok with that, and he says I have been very, very good for the both of them.

I’m teaching him to communicate. To tell her where he is going, and who he will be with. To be honest with me about his addictions, his struggles, his triumphs. I’m teaching him to not flake out on me, that I won’t get angry if he doesn’t have time to come over, as long as he tells me up-front and doesn’t leave me hanging. Communication is huge for me, and he’s learning that to be in my life, he has to talk to me. And this means he is learning to be this way for the girlfriend as well, and while it has been very hard for them, it also has been very healthy and good.

As far as the girlfriend? She’s doing well, as far as I know. She’s dating, and is happy with how Wash and I are doing. She and I don’t have any sort of relationship, but I’m ok with that. She’s friendly when I am over and our paths cross, and doesn’t seem to be dealing with any jealousy issues.

And as far as Wash, himself? Everything is shiny, Captain. So shiny. This experiment with a casual, no-strings-attached relationship really rather failed. And that’s ok. Because instead, I got not only an amazing lover, someone who makes my body and my soul sing.

I found a friend.

So shiny.

PS, if you’d like, you can meet Wash here and here. And, I always welcome comments.


2 responses to “So, How’s Wash?

  • pastelninja

    I love the way you talked about wanting to bottle the different things you like about being close to him. I especially relate to that urge to record the tiny precious seconds together to replay them back later when you’re apart.

    When my husband Brandon is away, I feel like i relive specific tiny things over and over, almost to remind myself he’s still out there somewhere.

    I believe I’ve mentioned once before about how I always end up leaving some kind of clutter where he left it. This time it’s a paper plate. He snuck a piece of pie before he left and didn’t throw the plate away, and i can’t bring myself to do it now when I know its the last thing he left behind in our new house.

    Being apart is never easy. My heart goes out to you, even though I know you’re just fine, and your nest is cozy and warm.

  • lyttlebyrd

    Thank you. I always love your feedback on my writing.

    I remember when my husband and I were separated, when he was in the military. It’s so hard. I have a lot of admiration for how you handle things with Brandon gone… You are an amazing person. And the story about the plate is so sweet…

    Looking forward to seeing you again soon 🙂

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