Ethical Porn

My lovely friend Lotte of Poly in Pictures wrote a nifty and thought-provoking post about porn. You can read it here. It’s worth your time.

I’m a lot like Lotte in that porn is not my thing. I have a bit of a not-great history with it, and I have had some struggles with it.  I have mixed feelings about it, for many reasons. But I no longer think that porn in and of itself is a bad thing. How we act about porn needs improvement. How we treat people in the industry is, for the most part, abysmal. But, to be honest with you, that can be said about anybody who is sex-positive and comfortable with sex and sexuality in any way.

We are in a society where sex and sexuality is bad and shameful.

Let me repeat that – sex, a healthy exercise in which we can share love and affection for one (or many) person(s), is a dirty act, sinful, shameful, and wrong. The worst insults usually have to do with synonyms for the sex act or human (especially female) genitalia.

Violence in our society is glorified. Sex is subverted and sinful.

Tell me where this is a right and healthy attitude.

One of my partners is in recovery for porn addiction. He has said in the past that if we didn’t have such a shameful connotation attached to porn and sexuality, he probably wouldn’t have had the same struggle with it. But, because it was something shameful, it was something he hid; he got off on the rush of “getting away with it”, and the problem got worse.

For what it’s worth, he’s doing very well with it now. He knows his triggers, knows who to ask for help and how, and has learned healthy behaviors. I thanked him once for being so open about it, and he told me he had to be, or he would backslide.

I would love to hear people’s thoughts on this. And I would also like to hear about other people’s choices for Ethical Porn, and other ethical adult companies and retailers. Comments below, please, or PM me if you are uncomfortable with public comment.

 

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