Monthly Archives: May 2013

My Unicorn

This last Sunday, the Husband and I got to go on a date. We were hoping for a bike ride, but the odd May weather we’ve been having cancelled that idea, and so instead, we went to the Sports store for some camping stuff we were still in need of. After that, we went out for coffee and lunch at New Seasons.

And, magically, wonderfully, we got to do this all by ourselves.

We left the kids home with Velah and her son. Her guy is the same age as our son, and they get along like a house on fire. Our daughter adores Velah. Everyone gets along amazingly.

Who is Velah? She is my husband’s Pet… a collared sub and a lovely partner for him. They have a relationship that I can’t begin to understand. Kink is not my thing, not even a little bit. But I do understand that they love each other. A lot. And she makes him very, very happy. And that makes me happy. And, somehow, she has become someone I love dearly…

Somehow, she’s in our life now, and I can’t imagine life without her.

I get texts throughout the day from her, and they always make me smile. We’re thinking of a camping trip this summer, both families, and things have been said about her moving closer, someday. She’s the first person I have ever been able to see this sort of arrangement working with. And it’s strange and wonderful and more than a little scary.

She’s our unicorn. She says I’m her rainbow-colored bear. Utterly unexpected things, surprising everyone. Something rare and to be treasured.

But it’s so easy to be around her. Puttering in the garden, or making dinner together. Little household chores or a soak at Common Grounds. It’s as easy to be with just her as it is to be with her and Husband together. In the strange way of poly relationships that work well, she offers her time and home to my husband so I can spend time with Wash. She is respectful of my need for alone time and creative time. I try valiantly to work with her vegetarianism and various food allergies.

And have I mentioned it makes her happy, deep in her soul, to do housework for other people?

I came home last Sunday from a lovely bit of alone time with my husband, to find my kitchen floor swept and mopped.

She even cleaned under the entertainment center, poor thing. It was nasty under there.

My bathroom has never been so shiny.

And have I mentioned I hate housework?

I think we should keep this Pet that followed my husband home. She’s too good to be true. She offers to watch the kids so Husband and I could reconnect, and then cleans my house.

The poly lifestyle leads us all to some unexpected places, doesn’t it?

PS- If you have the time, pop over to Velah’s blog and give it a read. She’s pretty awesome.

 

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Ethical Porn

My lovely friend Lotte of Poly in Pictures wrote a nifty and thought-provoking post about porn. You can read it here. It’s worth your time.

I’m a lot like Lotte in that porn is not my thing. I have a bit of a not-great history with it, and I have had some struggles with it.  I have mixed feelings about it, for many reasons. But I no longer think that porn in and of itself is a bad thing. How we act about porn needs improvement. How we treat people in the industry is, for the most part, abysmal. But, to be honest with you, that can be said about anybody who is sex-positive and comfortable with sex and sexuality in any way.

We are in a society where sex and sexuality is bad and shameful.

Let me repeat that – sex, a healthy exercise in which we can share love and affection for one (or many) person(s), is a dirty act, sinful, shameful, and wrong. The worst insults usually have to do with synonyms for the sex act or human (especially female) genitalia.

Violence in our society is glorified. Sex is subverted and sinful.

Tell me where this is a right and healthy attitude.

One of my partners is in recovery for porn addiction. He has said in the past that if we didn’t have such a shameful connotation attached to porn and sexuality, he probably wouldn’t have had the same struggle with it. But, because it was something shameful, it was something he hid; he got off on the rush of “getting away with it”, and the problem got worse.

For what it’s worth, he’s doing very well with it now. He knows his triggers, knows who to ask for help and how, and has learned healthy behaviors. I thanked him once for being so open about it, and he told me he had to be, or he would backslide.

I would love to hear people’s thoughts on this. And I would also like to hear about other people’s choices for Ethical Porn, and other ethical adult companies and retailers. Comments below, please, or PM me if you are uncomfortable with public comment.

 


Plague of Locusts

Another week, another Sunday. Husband is out mowing, and the kids are playing the Wii. Even though it isn’t the holiday season, I’ve made a tray of crack candy, this delicious confection made from saltines and toffee and chocolate. I’ve also baked 6 dozen sugar cookies, more than a dozen of which have already been consumed.

And so it goes.

I slept hungry last night. I know better than to do that, and I didn’t mean to. Some filling cookies made by the Other Woman for gaming, and a glass of juice, and I figured I was fine. But we’ve changed our eating schedule, and it’s messed with my hypo-glycemia, and I didn’t eat enough yesterday. All this means, I woke up starving at 4 AM. So I wandered off to the kitchen for my usual middle-of-the-night snack, a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk.

And then it hit me. Two weeks worth of groceries were already mostly gone. It only took a week. Snack foods, meal foods, everyone in the house is eating more.

The kids are starving. All the time. Our daughter told my husband today that she had “Starved to death”, which gained her very little sympathy but made both of us chuckle. Our son had just passed 100 pounds and is built like a tank and is constantly hungry.

And the verse in Exodus, which I have read a dozen times or more, makes a lot more sense now:

13 So Moses stretched out his staff over Egypt, and the Lord made an east wind blow across the land all that day and all that night. By morning the wind had brought the locusts; 14 they invaded all Egypt and settled down in every area of the country in great numbers. Never before had there been such a plague of locusts, nor will there ever be again. 15 They covered all the ground until it was black. They devoured all that was left after the hail—everything growing in the fields and the fruit on the trees. Nothing green remained on tree or plant in all the land of Egypt.

So, this morning, I got into my car, and went searching for more locust supplies.

They are good little locusts…


Forever

forever

If you are curious, this is what forever looks like to me. My handsome pirate, a sunny day, the people I love surrounding me.

This is where I’ve been the past month. For a twice-weekly blog, I’ve really dropped the ball. And for that I am sorry.

But I’ve been so busy elsewhere and elsewhen, that I haven’t had the time to post.

We kicked off Faire season a few weeks ago, with Faire in the Grove, in Forest Grove, OR. It was a full and busy weekend, with a lead-up of a bunch of sewing and planning. I costume as a hobby, and Faires and Steampunk events are a chance for me to really let my imagination run riot.

It’s a chance to escape for a while… let the kids run feral, watch the handsome knights and dashing pirates, enjoy a beer or three, and a lovely Lady on my arm. And home afterwards, for burgers and s’mores and Family time.

My head is spinning. An unexpected relationship has brought me much happiness, and so much love.

I’ve been running from one thing to another… soccer games and practices and Family nights and dates with Wash and some much needed Me time. I’ve been wandering in my own head, planning tailcoats and pirate shirts and knitted projects and my summer’s canning projects.

And I’ve been enjoying what has been, until yesterday, an unseasonably warm spring here in the NW. I’ve been gardening and mowing and working on an impressive crop of freckles.

At some point, soon, I want to sit down and start sorting all of this out through my writing. But until then, I will daydream about sunny afternoon picnics in the grass, watching people play with swords, wearing my favorite bodice and my pretty new sun hat, my pirate lover by my side. I will wander in the thoughts of my Lady, snuggled up against me, and long walks with her on warm spring evenings, and the delightful anticipation of things to come. I will dream of the warm summer sun on my skin, and all the love that is already here, and all that is yet to be.


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