Here I am

Well, I guess I’m  here.

I’ve been thinking about blogging again for a while. It’s been something in the back of my brain, somewhere between the gymnastics practices and soccer games and spelling tests. Somewhere between where my public persona meets my private life. Somewhere in the caves and recesses of my very private mind.

I guess a good place to start is why I’m here, and what the name of this blog means to me. I’m here because there is a world I live in that I don’t get to share with many people, sometimes no one at all.

On the outside, I’m just another 30-something woman, raising kids and making art in Portland, OR. My husband works for a conservative corporation. We have two amazing children and a large house in the suburbs. I wear conservative librarian clothes and drive a white SUV. My tattoos and short spiky hair hint at my other world, the ones the other soccer moms don’t get to see.

I don’t fit in with the other moms. I sometimes feel like life is a great game of “One of these things is not like the other”.

On the inside, well, that’s where things are interesting. It’s where I start playing outside of the box, coloring outside of the lines. While I’ve been married to my best friend for more than a decade, we aren’t the traditional monogamous married couple our acquaintances take us for. We have been active in the poly community for many years. I’m not the sweet, straight, conservative soccer-mom I look like on the outside. In fact, I’ve always identified as some sort of queer, and it’s been fun to explore that side of my personality in recent years.

As we grow more comfortable and confident in our lives, as our children are growing and getting their own wings and personalities, I feel more driven again to chronicle this amazing life I am so priveledged to live. The voice in the back of my head is getting stronger and more insistant that I have stories to tell. Stories about the crumbling of our faith but the strengthening of our chosen family. Funny stories about conversations that our unorthodox lives has led us to have and situations we never thought we’d find ourselves in. Heartbreaking stories about love and loss. Cute stories about our kids and our pets and our partners.

And perhaps I need a place to sort all of this out. Somewhere along the line, two people, muddling through life, have become “Important People” in this amazing community, and I’m not sure exactly how it happened. All I know is I’ve tried to live a life full of love, and it seems to crack the seams and spill out all over, anymore.

“All you need is love”, right… It seems to be working for us so far.

Thank you for getting this far. I hope to see you again soon…

 

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3 responses to “Here I am

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